Am I A Success?

My local council is soon to do a “hard rubbish pick up” which means all over my suburb at the moment, out the front of many houses, on the footpath, is heaps of old junk that people don’t want and have put out for the council to pick up and take away.   It’s a bizarre concept to me.  We can, as a collective, put our rubbish out on the street and leave it there for weeks (the council doesn’t tell us when they are coming – just a period between which they will be there) to be picked up and taken away.  We don’t care where it is taken or what happens to it – we just don’t want it anymore so we throw it away.  And I often see people going through other people piles of rubbish and taking things from it.  Now I’m assuming they are taking things because they want them – they see some value or purpose in the item that someone else sees as having no purpose or value.  I can’t imagine them taking it home to add to their pile of rubbish for others to go through!  We surely can’t be that vain that we care what others think of our rubbish are we?  People aren’t really taking others rubbish home to make their rubbish look better?  No, I can’t believe that.  These people are taking others people’s rubbish home to put in their homes and use.  Now, clearly the person picking it up doesn’t see it as rubbish – so if one man’s trash is another man’s treasure – how am I to know what to throw out? 

You see, I’m about to have a bit of a clean-out at home.  It is time for me to go through the cupboards and get rid of all the things and stuff that I no longer use or want – the stuff that is just sitting there taking up valuable space.   But what do I throw away and what do I keep?  I have no idea.  I would hate to throw something out today only to realize tomorrow that I want or need it.  And I would hate to throw something out and have someone else come along and think it is valuable in some way – I mean, how wasteful is that?  And once I do throw all this stuff out and have all this freed-up cupboard space – what will I do with it?  I will of course buy new stuff to take up that space because cupboards are like that – they can’t stay empty.  It’s almost like there is some strange cosmic force that takes over and just fills the empty spaces.  In next to no time my cupboards will be full to overflowing again and the only “benefit” I’ll have got form cleaning them out in the first place is an empty wallet.  That doesn’t seem like much of an incentive to me. 

The funny thing is when I originally got these things, I really wanted them – and now they are just sitting there not being used and now apparently of no use or value to me.  Funny how we change, isn’t it?  How could something that hasn’t changed gone from useful to useless?  Of course the obvious answer is that I’ve changed.  Or my perception of that item has changed.  A couple of years back I saved up to buy a new 80cm Television – with a flat screen.  Not a plasma or LCD flat screen TV you understand, but one of great big old fashioned analogue “box” type that takes up half the lounge room but with a flat screen instead a convex one.  It was my pride and joy when I got it and it still works as if it was brand new.  And I am about to throw it out!  I no longer want this thing that cost me a lot of money and is still in complete working order.  You see we recently bought a new LCD flat screen TV.  Apparently we had to have one – everyone else does! 

So my old TV that is still in perfect working order will be put out onto the street like a worthless piece of trash.  Like an old lover it will be cast aside for a newer, flashier one - one that is presumably better and will give me more pleasure.  Why do we do this?  Why can’t we be happy with what we have? I guess it has a lot to do with being part of a “society” and wanting to “belong” and to be thought of as “successful” – whatever that is.  We do tend to judge others by what they have.  If someone lives in a bigger house, in a nicer suburb, drives a flashier car and wears more expensive clothing than we do, we automatically think of them as being more successful than us.  We never look past the obvious to judge “success”.   We never seem to take happiness into count when judging how successful someone is.  Could I be happier in my older car, poorer suburb, discount store clothes and big old box TV than someone with better, bigger and newer things than me?  Of course I could, but we just don’t think that way. 

I have in the past had very high paying jobs and battled depression.  I have also had low paying jobs and not been battling depression – in which of these was I more “successful”?  I’m not saying that earning a large income was in anyway linked to my depression – that was a coincidence.  But it does make me think – which is the better measure for success – career and wealth or happiness and contentment? Maybe it’s a combination of both. 

When I started my working life I made a very clear decision to follow a career path that I could do well at and earn a decent income from but wasn’t overly passionate about over a career that I would have absolutely loved but would have earned next to nothing for most of the time. It was a conscious decision and one that I still stand by.  But has the relative “wealth” and “success” of my career given me the happiness I see some friends who chose the alternate path have?   Who can really say? And can anyone really judge another’s happiness?  What after all is happiness anyway?   For all the frustrations and angst my career causes me, I certainly enjoy the lifestyle it provides me. I can do most of the things I want to do; I can buy most of the things I want to buy.  I also have a loving partner and we have a very pleasant, comfortable home – so am I a success?  The truth is I just don’t know if I would be any happier in a different career that I loved and earned much less than I currently do. 

What I do know is that my cluttered cupboards do not contribute to my happiness.  And so as such they must be cleared out and the flotsam jetsam within them must go. I also know that these old items do not contribute to my feeling of “success” as there are newer, better ones available.  So whichever way I look at it – using either happiness or possessions - am I a success?  I guess once I clean out the cupboards and replace the tossed items with newer, better ones I will be! 

The Melbourne Experiment

It is never easy to pack up your shackles and move lock, stock and barrel to a new city where you know next to no one. It is extra daunting when that move sees you move in with your partner for the first time – a new partner in a new city with no contacts or networks to fall back on. Add to that not having a job to go to in the new city and one would say you would be insane to do such a thing. And yet, this is just what I have done. My partner and I have just moved from Sydney to Melbourne. We have no jobs as such and have no real support network here – and yet here we are, and loving it!

I have lived in Sydney for nearly 25 years. To say I was aware of the Sydney/Melbourne rivalry is an understatement. The press in Sydney regularly run stories on how much better Sydney is than Melbourne, and how big a chip Melbourne has on its shoulder because it is not Sydney. This was a daunting prospect for me as I love Sydney’s confidence and brashness – and was not sure if I could live in a place so obsessed with if it was better than another place or not. To my surprise, I have not once come across this in Melbourne. Instead what I have found is a city that is brimming with self-confidence and a style and elegance that just is not evident in Sydney. That is not to say Melbourne is better than Sydney – it is just different. And it is that difference that is exciting me about my move – that, and the chance to be living with my lover for the first time.


Whilst I’ve yet to make any friends here, the people I am meeting are incredibly friendly and helpful when they learn I am new to the city – especially when they find out I am from Sydney. Most have been thrilled that I have wanted to move from Sydney to Melbourne. And that makes me wonder just how many people move from one city to another these days? Just how transient are we? According to the bureau of stats there are a lot of people moving from the regions to the cities, and smaller numbers doing the sea-change from large cities to coastal towns, but how many people pack up from one big city to move to another big city, for no apparent reason – and is dong that just leaping out of the frying pan and into the fire? Am I the only one doing such a thing? Surely not?


I always expected Melbourne to be very similar to Sydney. Of course Melbourne has a different climate and it lacks the iconic splendour of the harbour, opera house and bridge – but these things are just material - objects and natural features. Surely the culture of Melbourne and Sydney would be similar. I mean, we are all Australians and in comparison to other countries, very close knit. Imagine my surprise when I discovered a very different culture to the one I was used to. Sydney is very bustling – and loves that about itself. I was expecting Melbourne to be the same. I thought that what being a modern city in the 21st century was about. Imagine my surprise the first time I went to a restaurant and the wait staff was friendly and knowledgeable? That doesn’t happen in Sydney. I am still taken aback when I walk down the street and people smile at me or say “Hello”. That certainly doesn’t happen in Sydney. If you did that in Sydney you would be looked at like you were crazy. And the first time I went window shopping (as is often my want) and the staff actually acknowledged me – pleasantly. And when I apologised for only window shopping, instead of getting a scowl and being ignored, I got polite conversation and no pressure to buy anything. What an amazing revelation. It appears the retail staff in Melbourne actually like their jobs! All of a sudden one of my favourite things to do is now also a pleasure to do! The hustle and bustle of Sydney means the retail staff simply doesn’t care about the customers – and heaven forbid if you actually want assistance with something. You may as well prey for peace in the Middle East, as that has more chance of being a reality! But then Sydney does have Bondi, the Bridge, and the Opera House. It needs not things like customer service. Or so it thinks. 


Melbourne of course does not have such wonders. Federation Square, the Arts Centre spire, Flinders St Station – all iconic buildings for sure but none of them come close to the Opera house or the Bridge. And St Kilda beach is no Bondi, that’s for sure. And oh how Sydney loves to mock these things. What I am coming to realise is that what Melbourne lacks in natural and man-made wonders, it more than makes up for in what is actually much more important – warmth and acceptance. And in these times of social and financial instability, isn’t that much more valuable? Should not that be held up as a human wonder worthy of worship? I think so. And I think I’ve made the right move. I think I’ve found a new home. 


Now I just need a job!